


Right in the Sweet Spot

by All_Sight



Category: Splatoon
Genre: But I take no responsibility for how you'll see umbrellas after this fic, Comedic Smut?, Gun Kink, I'm so sorry for writing this, I..., Ink, Lots of Ink., Not Serious, Other, Smut, That's a tag now, Too much Ink., Umbrella Masturbation, Weapon Fucking, Weapons Kink, and I'm so sorry for you reading this, is that a thing?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2019-11-07 16:43:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17964260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_Sight/pseuds/All_Sight
Summary: The Various Misadventures of Sweetspot, and her weapon "testing" in the strangest of ways.Rated E for Umbrellas, Use of Weaponry in the most unorthodox way, and one Writer's shameful regrets.





	1. Never Open Umbrellas Inside

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MillenniumAspen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MillenniumAspen/gifts).



> Firstly I want to say sorry for this existing, and secondly say that no, this is not meant to be serious in any way, shape or form.
> 
>  
> 
> Please don't judge me.

There’s a rumor that goes around Inkopolis Square, that on some nights, in one of the dark alleyways around town, one might be greeted with ominous moans echoing off the brick walls of that long, dimly lit corridor.  
  
Naturally, many of the squidlings avoided this place altogether, for fear of being haunted by ghosts or other, unnatural apparitions. The truth, however, was much simpler than that…  
  
...Well, no it wasn’t, but it wasn’t ghosts that’s for sure.  
  
In truth, the cause of this was a single inkling girl, aptly named “Sweetspot”.  
  
You see, Sweetspot had taken a liking to visiting this alleyway, usually after a long turf war, or, on rarer occasions, seeing another particularly attractive inkling girl. She enjoyed the privacy and isolation it gave her as she, well, _relieved_ herself.  
  
Her weapon of choice?  
  
A Brella.  
  
Today was a day like any other. A long turf war (of which they lost), late in the day, and weary from the excess exercise, Sweetspot slipped out of the crowd unnoticed to her little “haven” in the alleyway. Once again spotting that familiar mattress under a ramshackle tent that provided a better wall than a roof, Sweetspot began her work.  
  
Pinching a nipple with one hand, and reaching downward to rub herself with the other, Sweetspot fantasized about the ludicrously hot inkling girl that beat her last round. In truth, she was probably at least partially at fault for her team failing. If it was that girl, Sweetspot would let them ink her _all_ day.  
  
With a now sufficient wet spot created in her nether regions, it was time for the main event.  
  
Sweetspot removed her spats, and reached for her trusty Brella, which had never failed to satisfy her, in nor out of combat. Aiming the gun right at her entrance, she buried the weapon to it’s hilt inside of her, causing a few droplets of ink to squirt out.  
  
After waiting a few moments to recover, she started pumping the umbrella’s “member” in and out of herself. Her light moans became heavier as her speed increased, pushing the umbrella faster and further inside of her. She thought of the inkling girl from earlier, and how it would feel to have her pumping _her_ gun into Sweetspot instead. Her back arched as she pushed the Brella as far in as it could go. She fired the gun as she came, spurting ink inside of her womb. As she came, ink sprayed across the brick walls in front of her, coating them in her vibrant fluids.  
  
Before she even had time to recover from that high, Sweetspot heard voices from further up in the alleyway. Thinking it was a night patrol, or perhaps a group of curious inklings, Sweetspot scrambled to act and look normal, or basically anything that didn’t scream “Hey, I just orgasmed from fucking my weapon”. However, in her panic to remove said weapon from herself, she accidentally hit the button that unfurls the umbrella.  
  
Sweetspot could do nothing but hold back her gasps and moans as the weapon expanded inside her, spreading her wider and wider. She prayed to the Great Zapfish itself that those squidlings wouldn’t come look for her over here, just to see her shame.  
  
Finally, the weapon stopped expanding, no longer able stretch her any longer. Ink leaked out of her as she was filled with the bliss from her gun. Hazily trying to recover from such an experience, Sweetspot heard the voices slowly get fainter and fainter. It seems her prayers had been answered. Now all she had to do was get this umbrella out.  
  
A task easier said than done, all attempts to unsheathe the weapon from her groins were futile. It seems it was stuck inside of her. Trying to close it no longer worked, somewhere along the way it seems the mechanism broke. It seemed like both Sheldon and herself would be having quite the talk later.  
  
Her only way out was attempting to use brute force to remove the Brella, hoping it would bend backwards, allowing escape. As she grabbed the handle with both hands, she tried as hard as she could to yank the weapon back out. However, it seemed luck was _still_ not with her, and in her attempt to do so, she broke the firing mechanism as well.  
  
She could feel wave after wave of ink from her gun pound inside her. She desperately attempted to maintain her footing as she grasped at the hilt, needing to remove the object before she could barely think anymore. This metaphorical “Sword in the Stone” situation had gone on far too long, and even Sweetspot could barely take it anymore. She felt inside her as the gun ran out of room to pour more ink, causing a sizable bulge to appear around her stomach. Just as she was about to lose consciousness from the bliss, the weapon’s grip in her _finally_ loosened, and it came free.  
  
Obscene amounts of goopy, vibrant ink spilled out of her as the problematic weapon was tossed aside, it’s ink tank finally empty. Far too dazed to think about what might happen if someone found this scene, Sweetspot closed her eyes, and fell fast asleep.  
  
The following morning, Sweetspot rushed to clean up the scene, and make it look the same as it had been before her sexual escapades. There may or may not be a faint scent of sex-filled ink around the tent now, but she was sure nobody would notice. Or, at least she **_hoped_ ** nobody would notice.  
  
The far more complicated problem however, was trying to explain in a roundabout way to Sheldon how she managed to break not only the Brella’s opening mechanism, but also it’s firing mechanism.  
  
That, was not gonna be a fun conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to leave a comment, dare leave a kudo, or just put a bullet in my brain, all are acceptable.


	2. The 𝑆𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑡ling Gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweetspot expands her repertoire of weapons with a Splatling gun. Things go about as well as you'd expect.

A few days and a very, very awkward conversation of dancing around how she broke her umbrella with Sheldon, Sweetspot managed to send her weapon in for repairs. Which in the meantime meant she was left without her umbrella “companion”.  
  
Sweetspot however, saw this as an opportunity. After the…. ‘Experience’ that was her umbrella, she figured she could expand her view on weapons, and see what other kinky, probably unhealthy in some form shenanigans she could get up to.   
  
Today’s “weapon of choice”?   
  
Everyone’s favorite cylinder-based, ink-bullet hailing gun, The Splatling!   
  
Now, as eager as Sweetspot had been to try this new hot rod of a gun out, there was no way in Squid Heaven she could go back to her old alleyway hideout. That place had been practically destroyed after her over eager interaction. Plus the entire place smelled like a strange combination of fish, sex and ink. It was not a pleasant smell.   
  
So, before she could _use_ her gun, she had to actually USE the gun, to earn enough money from matches to actually afford an apartment. Also so that she doesn’t get caught as the deviant who rubs herself on potentially dangerous weaponry. That would not be great.   
  
And this time, even if she saw that hot inkling girl again, she would gun her down. This was war damn it, and it’s time to fight for what she believed in.   
  
…   
  
Well as it turns out, you need actually good teammates to win matches. While Sweetspot certainly won a few, and practically carried a few others, she still had more losses than expected. She swears to the Kraken, some people just don’t know how to (th)ink.   
  
But, the important thing was that she now had enough cash to actually afford an Inkopolis apartment. Granted, they weren’t very expensive, there’s plenty of vacancy in Inkopolis surprisingly, she just never took a look at any of them. Seems a bit foolish now in hindsight.   
  
It wasn’t a very big apartment, but it was more than enough for the purposes she needed. Bathroom with shower (that she really hopes doesn’t produce TOO much water…), Bedroom, Kitchen/Dining Room, and a vacant room that’s presumably supposed to be a living room.   
  
You probably don’t have to guess that’s not what she’s gonna use it for.

 

Smiling smugly to herself, she saunters into the room, and prepares it for what’s to come.  
  
  
Another thing she managed to buy with her earnings were in fact, tarps. This way, when things got a little, how you say _wild_ in the room, there wouldn’t be ink splayed all across the walls and most of it wouldn’t stay. Plus anything she missed would be food for those microbes. Helpful little things.   
  
Now that the room was fully tarped, door was closed and the gun was prepped, it was time to get naughty with it.   
  
She wondered what position she should try first. Looking at the massive hunk of metal, there was likely a good bit more room to experiment than just the usual “stick it where the sun don’t shine, but the plains feel good.” that she had with the umbrella. Granted, it opening up inside was less...conventional than what she had intended, but hey, it inspired her to broaden her view right? Can’t be that bad.   
  
  
Now, how to mount the damn thing.   
  
Well she wasn’t exactly damp enough down there to take it (Not that she believed she could actually insert it in the first place, liquid body or not), so foreplay was first on the list. But how to do that with a gatling gun meant for warfare.

  
It was then she got a, subjectively brilliant, idea.   
  
Discarding her spats and panties, the now bottomless inkling sat herself upon the frontal part of the Splatling, the cylinder that typically spins to fire bullets. Snugly wrapping her legs around the part you’re usually supposed to hold, leans forward, and holds down the trigger, using a bit of tape she set aside to keep it held.   
  
The chamber starts its windup, spinning and spinning, but to no release. With no ink to fire, the gun simply dry fires itself, continuously spinning.   
  
Sweetspot then lowers herself onto the spinning contraption, an idea most would call crazy, and probably be correct. But Sweetspot was more daring those those others, and if she wanted to use a gatling gun as a vibrator, by the Kraken that’s what she’d do.   
  
Having fully lowered herself onto the spinning bars, they rapidly spun against her vagina, providing a pleasure she couldn’t tell was actual pleasure, or some form of masochism she picked up.   
  
Either way, it felt good, and she didn’t want it to stop.   
  
She began to rub herself up and down the chamber providing an excellent combination of latitude and longitude pleasure. As her rubbing gets faster and faster, the guns almost seems to respond in kind, almost seeming to spin faster as she increases her tempo. Though that may just be her slick juices oiling the gun. Or just a trick of the light, in this state of bliss, she really has no idea.   
  
It just keeps building up and up, as the now wettened cylinder rubs her more smoothly and pleasurably, to the point she can’t keep up. She has a nigh explosive orgasm, spraying ink in all directions, as she falls flat onto the stock of the gun. The gun’s still running of course, as in her state of mind, she can’t find it in herself to remove the tape from the trigger. At least until her eyes come back down to a normal level. Which may take a while considering it’s still pleasuring her.   
  
A few minutes of afterglow later, and a removal of some tape, it was time to move onto phase two.   
  
Firing the gun.   
  
Connecting it to her wealthy ink tank she’s stored up, It was time to try out another position.   
  
Reconnecting the tape to the gun, she quickly dashed over to the parallel wall and leaned forward on it, bearing her naked behind to the oncoming hail.   
  
And what an oncoming hail it was. As the gun’s windup finished, and ink started flying, once again her eyes rolled up and her tongue lolled out as she was ravaged by bullets entering her pussy. Pellet by pellet they came, making their way into her and providing her with a euphoria she couldn’t believe existed. Another orgasm washed over her, and she fell onto the floor, face down, ass up, ink bullets still coating her, though now a few of them hit her asshole as well, which was quite a tingly sensation.   
  
It wasn’t until she came for the third time that she fully slumped onto the floor, feeling practically lost in her legs. So, still in the afterglow, she used her arms to feebly crawl over to the machine and shut it off, to make sure it didn’t waste precious ink. There was still another phase to come after all.   
  
It took another moment to compose herself again, but there was still one last thing to try. This time, she discarded her shirt, now being fully nude. She didn’t usually wear a bra after all. It’s not like she really needed one.   
  
But that was more than enough time dealt on thinking about flat chests, it was time for the final, and main event. Pushing the gatling gun so that it stood straight up, handle down, barrel up, she clambered on top of the mass hunk of steel and plastic, and sat her naked tush straight onto the receiving end of the gun’s barrel.   
  
This time, since the trigger was slightly too far for her to reach down and tape effectively, she fed a much longer strap of tape through the hoop, grabbed both ends of it,and pulled it upwards, proceeding to attach it to the rest of the gun as it started to build up.   
  
While just having some of the barrels spin around inside of her was certainly very pleasurable, the true experience was what came immediately after.   
  
Turns out receiving hot ink at point blank is a hell of a lot better feeling than just receiving them at a distance. Entering her womb straight from the source, with nowhere else to go, Sweetspot’s belly started to bulge, the ludicrous amount of ink inside her beginning to overflow, and burst back out of her entrance. The continuous feeling of being filled and then releasing it was so satisfying, Sweetspot’s mind went blank, and all she could continue to think about was the pure enticing pleasure of the weaponry beneath her. She lost count how many times she came, and hardly cared. She’d go on as long as she had ink to do so.   
  
And that’s exactly what she did. Eventually, the tank ran out of ink, and the bullets stopped hailing. The gun stopped firing too it seemed, the tape having managed to loosen itself somewhere after the ordeal. Sweetspot struggled to remove herself from the weapon, ink still very much leaking out of her, and in the process of trying to come down, she manages to bring both herself, and the weapon, careening to the ground.   
  
With a thud, they both land, the gun on it’s side, and Sweetspot, thankfully, landing on her bloated belly, which proceeded to spray ink out as the force pushed it. It did soften the landing though, so she can’t complain.   
  
Well, all in all, a successful weapon ‘test’ in her eyes. This one was definitely a keeper. That was two weapons down, seven left to try out.   
  
She could only imagine the possibilities. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lis-listen okay.
> 
> I had to write something for Inktober.


End file.
